I resented attending so many friends' weddings throughout my 30s. Now that I'm in my 40s, I wish I hadn't been so bitter.

There was a point in my early 30s when it felt like I was going to a wedding every other weekend.

If not a wedding, a hen do (what we call bachelorette parties in the UK), or a meeting to organize one.

Having been a bridesmaid four times, I planned and attended increasingly elaborate ones. I was finding places to stay, booking activities, making quiz questions and treasure hunts, and once, even constructing a beautiful papier-mâché penis piñata.

Then, there's arranging and paying for travel and accommodations for the wedding itself. So many of my vacation days were used on other people's nuptials and events leading up to them.

Plus, I had to find and buy outfits. I wanted to look good in photos that could be on someone's wall for years, and sometimes the shapewear cost even more than the dress.

Couples didn't make it easy when they hosted weddings in the Outer Hebrides and set the dress code as "beach formal," either.

Eventually, I started to resent how many weddings I had to attend and how much time and money it was costing me.

Doing all of this while perennially single only made it worse

I wish I had appreciated how special it was to celebrate with my friends in the moment. Alice Sanders

Even worse, I did all of the above without a partner. Being single made everything extra expensive — no one to split gifts or hotel rooms with — and more depressing.

I'd watch two people get married only to end my night climbing into a cold hotel bed alone, wondering if I'd ever meet someone I'd love that much.

Eventually, I also gained a reputation for crying during speeches. At one wedding, my friends kept tossing napkins over to the table of single people and great aunts I was seated at so I could dab my eyes.

Although I was crying at how touching the father-of-the-bride's speech was, the tears were also for myself. I was crying because I was lonely and didn't have the Great Love I saw others committing to — and I'd checked my bank balance just before we headed into the reception.

Now, I miss having reasons for all of us to get together

Looking back on all of the weddings and hen dos, I regret how petty and bitter I felt. I wish I'd appreciated how special it was to gather and celebrate with friends before life continued to get in the way.

I'm in my 40s now, and I see my friends much less. The people in our group who were going to get married have already done it.

There are no more big shindigs on the calendar. These days, my friends get too busy with work or children to bother with throwing any kind of party at all. Even just getting together casually can be difficult to coordinate.

Now, I long for the free roast chicken and warm prosecco. I miss the speeches, the excuse to dress up, and even sitting at the singles' table with eccentric aunts.

Most of all, I miss dancing to "Mr. Brightside" and celebrating with my friends for the thousandth time. It cost me a lot, but now I know it was all worth it.