- Amazon hired 27-year-old Jenny Cho right out of college.
- Cho said she instantly became a high achiever and completely burned out after five years.
- After taking a mental health leave, she switched her focus to trade-offs instead of balance.
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Jenn Cho, a 27-year-old Amazon software developer in Seattle. It's been edited for length and clarity.
I got hired at Amazon directly out of college in 2019 and made work my life and identity.
I put so much pressure on myself to be a high achiever and to prove I was a valuable employee in my early career. By the end of 2024, I had completely burned out.
I took a 12-week leave to focus on my mental health and realized my job wasn't the issue, it was my mindset. Here's how I identified my burnout and how I'm trying to prevent it from happening again.
Everything was great for me until a stressful project in 2024
When I got hired as a support engineer, my job was really exciting. We moved quickly, and I felt like a sponge, absorbing everything, and craving to learn more.
Then, in 2024, Amazon entered a very stressful layoff season, which greatly affected my team. Our organization underwent a lot of restructuring and reprioritization of our projects.
I started working on a particularly difficult project and really put pressure on myself to be on point at all times. But in the pursuit of doubling down on work and working longer hours, I started lacking motivation, struggling with focus, and feeling emotionally exhausted. I was able to keep up with deadlines, but I felt like I was in survival mode.
When I stopped enjoying my hobbies, I realized I was burned out
The wake-up call that something needed to change didn't come until I realized I wasn't even enjoying the things I love to do — working out, spending time with friends, pursuing hobbies. I knew I was burned out.
A friend of mine who had recently burned out and taken a leave, encouraged me to take my own leave. After sitting on the idea for a while, I submitted a request with the support of my therapist, and I was approved for a 12-week leave at the end of 2024.
Taking a break from work and building something for myself was fulfilling
At the start of my leave, I broke out in full-body hives, which I suspect might've been stress-induced. After nearly six weeks of treating my health issues, I finally settled into my leave.
I explored Seattle more, got back into my workout routine, and even started working on some personal projects like a food blog site. It was so fulfilling to build something for myself. I considered taking a sabbatical or a more extended leave, but ultimately decided to stick with my 12-week plan.
I realized the biggest thing that needed to change when I was to return to Amazon was my mindset. Finding fulfillment through my hobbies made me realize that work shouldn't be my life; it should fuel my ability to live my life and pursue my passions.
When I got back from my leave, it felt like nothing had changed, and I needed to set boundaries
I was concerned about taking a leave, but I don't think it hindered my career at all.
After returning to work, I realized that I was just one of thousands of employees. The company doesn't stop just because one person leaves. As workers, we tend to prioritize work, but our employers prioritize profits, so it's up to us to create boundaries between work and life.
I'm trying to embody my new mindset by setting boundaries. For example, working out is crucial for my mental health, so I've set a boundary that I will not cancel a workout class to keep working. It's a hard stop.
I've also been writing down my to-do lists for the day, but not just making them centered on work. Sure, my work will be at the top of the list, but I've also been writing down the personal things I'm looking forward to doing after work, like getting dinner, seeing friends, or working on the food blog.
I'm focusing on trade-offs instead of a balance
On a day-to-day basis, it feels nearly impossible to find a balance between work and life. I have so many things I want to do, but not enough hours in the day. So, I'm looking at the bigger picture instead.
There will be periods when work is very busy and demanding, and I have no choice but to put my effort into it. But I have to remind myself that life shouldn't be like that 24/7.
Maybe I'm focusing on work in one moment, but later, I can take time off to prioritize something for myself. I'm still learning to strike the right balance, but it's up to me to make sure I nurture my identity outside of work.
If you burned out at work and want to share your story, please email the editor, Manseen Logan, at [email protected].
