After a disappointing college experience, I was determined to make postgrad life better. Now I'm thriving.

6 hours ago 3

Tamia poses in her cap and gown in front of the name of her college.

Even though my college experience was disappointing, I'm making up for it in my postgrad life. Tamia Miller
  • I didn't have a great college experience, so I was determined to make postgrad life more exciting.
  • After graduation, I moved to Chicago and joined a walking club, where I met lots of great friends.
  • After rediscovering my love for travel, I even decided to live abroad for six months.

The vision I had for my college experience was something straight out of a glossy homecoming brochure: spontaneous road trips, late nights spent dancing terribly at parties, football games, and a close-knit friend group to enjoy it all with.

However, social anxiety, depression, and the COVID-19 pandemic had other plans, leaving me in an ugly cycle of self-isolation and rumination.

Terrified of rejection, I'd meet someone interesting during one of my English lectures and invite them out for frozen yogurt … in my head. I'd sign up for writing groups, roller skating nights, and clubs, but I'd get too nervous to actually go.

Between different class schedules, work obligations, and my own lack of initiative, I even struggled to plan outings with the friends I did make.

By the end of senior year, I'd spent more time waiting for adventures to happen than actually experiencing them. I graduated filled with anger and disappointment in myself for not trying harder to make friends and maximize my four years living on campus.

That disappointment inspired me to take action and make postgrad life better

Tamia poses for a photo with the Chicago skyline behind her.

I moved to Chicago after graduation.  Tamia Miller

Shortly after graduating from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, I left my tiny apartment on campus and moved to the heart of downtown Chicago.

Still mourning my college experience, I was determined to make new friends and enjoy my life instead of living vicariously through other twentysomethings online.

While scrolling on TikTok, I found a group called Chicago Girls Who Walk, a club designed to help members meet new people, stay active, and explore the city.

After weeks of deliberation, I fought my anxiety and attended one of their meetups. I had a great time, and knowing that there were so many other women of all ages searching for friends made me feel less alone in my struggles.

Was I still afraid of rejection? Yes. But I didn't want that fear to hinder me the way it did in college and outweigh the potential of making amazing friendships.

So, I kept showing up to events and initiating friend dates. From beach picnics and outdoor movies in the summer to pumpkin patch visits in the fall, I met other girls who loved the same things as me.

Life became a mix of bike rides before work and last-minute dinner plans on a Thursday, giving me the exact kind of spontaneity and fun I longed for in college.

During a picnic hosted by the group, I met a new friend, Giovanna, and we instantly connected over our shared interest in things like theme parks, sunrise yoga, and most excitingly, travel.

After a spontaneous trip to Universal Studios Hollywood for Halloween Horror Nights only a few months into our friendship, we knew we had great travel compatibility.

Tamia and her friend on a river boat in Thailand.

Giovanna and I traveled to Thailand together.  Tamia Miller

Since then, we've visited countries like Thailand, Japan and Italy together — something my postgrad job gave me the income to do.

Those trips taught me that it wasn't too late to explore the world for the same reasons I wanted to in college — self-discovery, creative inspiration, and personal fulfillment. The biggest difference was that now, I got to enjoy those gifts alongside one of my favorite people.

My renewed love for travel inspired me to move abroad

Tamia Miller poses for a photo with the Singapore skyline in the background.

I moved to Singapore for six months.  Tamia Miller

One of the other regrets I carried after graduation was never getting to study abroad. Once the COVID-19 pandemic started, weeks of meeting with my academic advisor to discuss host families and exchange programs felt like a waste.

My English major dreams of people-watching from Parisian cafés or enjoying gorgeous walks in Edinburgh were crushed.

But once I started traveling with Giovanna, I realized I could still make my dreams of living abroad come true. The only difference? Now I wouldn't have to worry about the pressures of homework or budgeting on a campus-job salary.

With every international trip, I grew more curious about the possibility of building a life overseas. So, at the end of 2025, I moved to Singapore on a six-month visa.

Now, four years after graduating from college, I finally have the life my 18-year-old self dreamt of. I'm currently on month five of my stay in Singapore, where I've met amazing friends and surprising new versions of myself.

As I plan my next adventure, I'm more self-assured than ever and grateful for the supportive community I've built back home in Chicago.

The same joys I wanted back in college — community, travel, and personal fulfillment — are here now, even though they look different than what I initially expected.

Read next

Read Entire Article
| Opini Rakyat Politico | | |